Sam's Blog

Link: http://www.mgm.com/usualsuspects/

I feel a little more stable today. Not as well rested as I hoped, but not that bad. I had a good day and it was gorgeous outside. The sun was out and though it got a little chilly, I didn’t mind it too much. It’s the end of January and the weather is absolutely gorgeous, I feel so lucky. I am glad that I am here at this very moment. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Well, maybe in Cambodia with my dad and sister since its 85 degrees there and warm and amazing. They forgot to call my grandma when they landed and in true grandma fashion, she waited around for them to call her. They finally did at 4pm our time and apologized since they forgot to call because they were having so much fun seeing family and such. So at least I know that they had a safe flight.

Anyway, I was walking around Westwood during my lunch and I stumble into Aah’s and realized that there are so many birthdays this month, along with Valentine’s Day. So I bought a whole bunch of cards and apparently buying them in bulk made me realize that cards are pricey! I’m so use to buying them for each occasion that I don’t notice, but it really is crazy how expensive they have become. I’m not saying that I’m going to stop buying them or am complaining, but it’s just fascinating how much more they are from when I was a kid. While I was there, I realized that I missed Valentine’s Day in elementary school where we would get bulk Valentines and pass them out to the class and walk around and deliver them. I would get so excited when someone gave me a box of the conversation heart candies. They were so yummy then. I haven’t had one in years. I liked that it was such a sweet and innocent holiday instead of what its become…a trendy consumer driven holiday that benefits Hallmark and flower shops and chocolate companies. But I honestly could care less about all of that stuff anymore. I’d much rather spend private time with Josh and that’s all I need. I guess that’s my cynical side coming out or maybe I’ve been in a relationship for too long.

I had a conversation with M today and she was going through some tough issues with her roommate. It sucks that she has to deal with roommate drama because she really is one of the most compromising, easy-going and agreeable people that I’ve ever met. She would be an ideal roommate since she’s never really around and she does consciously put in an effort to spend time with you. But then I realized that her roommate reminded me of a few people that I knew. She’s a combination of them in a way. She is not overtly mean or anything. She tricks you in a way because she is so “nice” and then you feel stupid for falling for it and then she’ll blame you for everything and makes you feel bad when she is the one that is to blame. M and I are very much alike and we tend to agree on the same issues. So it’s no surprise for me to see how she reacted in this instance. But my heart goes out to her. I was just as naïve as she is in many ways, but I have learned a lot these past few years. She and I cannot comprehend the idea of selfishness because it is not really in our nature and we have never come across it so blatantly until these past few years. And when we do encounter it, we don’t know what to do. I lose trust in people and get disappointed at the situation, but mainly I get disappointed in myself for not doing anything to stop it early on knowing that it may have a negative outcome. I think that M is feeling the same way. And I hope that everything works out for her. Friendship is such a tricky thing sometimes…I never had a problem with it until I let my guard down and allow people to walk all over me in a sense. And when I try to stand up for myself, it almost feels like I am talking to deaf ears, so what’s the point? But I am glad that we are both learning together but separately about how people can be and now we can troubleshoot for the future. I am glad that I can be there for her at this time in her life. I am just hoping for the best for her.

The Three Amigos (me, Angela and Amy) met up again for dinner, plus Josh at Paco’s Tacos. Yummy! I love that place and I can’t ever say no to it. I realized that I am very fortunate that they are still around in my life and that we had a very lovely roommate experience together. It just made out friendships stronger and proved to me that friends can indeed live together without killing each other. It was a wonderful dinner and I wish Amy lots of luck in New York this coming weekend. It’s going to be cold!! Poor girl. I hope she stays warm over there.

SATC quote of the day:
“Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.” – Samantha (Season 6 – Great Sexpectations)